I’m not terribly motivated by New Year’s resolutions, but I will tell you what I will be aiming for this year.  Even though I’ll undoubtedly fail often.   And what I have resolved to do is this: If and when I “waste time”, it will be because I’m doing something I love.  That’s it.  Doesn’t sound hard, does it?  But somehow it is!

Stupidly, I’ve often wasted time on things I don’t give a shit about, thinking that if I’m ever called out on it, I would just be able to respond, “My bad! I, too, have a poor opinion of myself and my actions. Let’s all agree on this.”  No confrontation, just agreement followed by the typical amount of beating myself up for my admitted procrastination.  My head knows this is so counter-productive that doesn’t make sense, but the heart is hard to change.  And the heart is where the fears live.  You see, I’ve realized that I’m terrified of doing something I love and to have someone confront me with “Why are you wasting your time with that?” Having to justify myself.  I’d rather beat myself up for what I know is poor judgement than be made to feel like I should beat myself up for following my heart.  That is a heavy equation.  So my goal is stop worrying about these things. At least I’ll try. To accept responsibility for my gifts and dreams, whatever the outcome.  To stop burying myself prematurely.  I’d love to know if any of you can relate.

Anyways, speaking of things I love, I want to do more weird photoshoots this year, like this one I did of my robobear sculpture a few years ago. The image above is a crop from previously unreleased shot I just processed this week- and I think I like it better than some of the rest, so I’ve added it to the gallery.  Hopefully a new shoot to come as well.  I’ll keep you posted.

Thanks for reading,

James